First and foremost, you must have a good financial REALationship with yourself before you even think about sharing your credit, debt, income, and other monetary decision-making with anyone else. Hall (2005) makes it clear that we as humans give meaning to money through our thoughts. We attach emotions to money, and in our soul it controls our connection to our deepest self and aspirations. Have you considered whether or not you are successful in your financial decisions? Are you a spend thrift or extravagant spender? Are you actively participating in your short- and long-term financial future? Still depending often on your parents and friends when in a pinch? These are real life issues that come into play every moment of your life, and you have to be prepared. If you have not or do not know how to answer these questions, today is the day to begin a detailed plan to achieve your financial success.

A major problem shared by many people is the clutter (paper, objects, etc.) that seems to cloud decisions. Does any of this get you any closer to the safety, security, and control that you wanted to have in the first place (Chatzky, 2006)? Take some time to sort through what is important, and then file appropriately, keeping necessary documents in a pending file and discarding what is really not needed. After going through the clutter, it is now time to have an open and frank discussion about money. You and your partner should know: the spending limit that is a comfortable level for each; where your strengths and weakness are when budgeting; whether there are workable compromises; which budgeting skills exist for both; and short- and long-term obligations that are important to each of you (Hall, 2005). 

In this planned financial REALationship with money, we are going to: reward ourselves first for time and energy spent working to establish it; invest for security; develop financial freedom; think of money as having a relative status not more than other things; and ensure that we allow enough for support, enrichment, and connections (Hall, 2005).  So now at this point, you and your partner are paying bills as you receive them in the mail, making a shopping list, and controlling spending by using debit cards or checks (Chatzky, 2006). ‘Cause we all know it wasn’t the credit card that was bad!

Ultimately, in a successful financial REALationship with yourself, you must always be clear on your price because someone may offer it to you (Hall, 2005)! In the midst of building this bond, both partners know what the foundation is and each is able to actively provide for its growth. Additionally, you must remember that part of the equation of your success involves the habit of saving money (Hill, 2003). Thoughtfully speaking, you can now call it a REALationship where you, your partner, and each one’s family and friends are proud you are together.