THE VOTES ARE IN AND THE DECISIONS ARE FINAL! Time Magazine has named its 100 most influential men and women in the world. Lists like this have always caught my attention simply because I know one day my goal is to grace one of those lists. You know those lists we read about all the time: “Top 100,” “The Best 40 Under 40,” and the “Fortune 500.” Even if it is the “Top 100 Who Tried But Didn’t Quite Make It Just Yet,” I’m going to be on someone’s list!

In reading the list, I was happy to see that Tyra Banks, Will Smith (he will always be on the top of my list for many reasons, especially after viewing I Robot! Can I get a witness?!), Oprah Winfrey, and even Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, Africa’s first female president, made this prestigious list. Among these names, I was especially excited to find Sean Combs (a.k.a. “Diddy”) on the list. He has been a role model for me simply because I travel across the country and share my message of motivation using the Hip-Hop vehicle to reach hundreds of youth. He was noted as a Builder & Titan for his contribution to the growth of Hip-Hop in the mainstream community. When I originally looked up this information, I found the write-up from a secondary website outside of Time Magazine. The write-up was followed by blog entries that shared some interesting views about Time’s reasons for “Diddy” being selected.

I decided to take some time to read these blog entries thinking they would lend some accolades that would support Time Magazine’s selection.  However, what I found dramatically clashed with my original thoughts. What I read was not only disheartening but also lent an overall feel of melancholy and a high level of disdain. “Diddy” was criticized for being a fake and no longer staying true to the Hip-Hop culture, instead pimping it for money and acclaim. He was criticized about everything from forming girl bands (in which the bloggers felt he never selected the right girls) to being compared to someone who is your boy until you get jumped and he is the one who is running away. “What THE . . .! Are you kidding me?” I thought to myself as I was reading the entries.

I respect the right of freedom of speech, but after reading those blog entries, I also got offended. I have not met “Diddy” a day in my life, but I do know he is a brother who worked very hard to obtain what he currently has. Reading this blog, I could not understand why there were so many “haters” out there who criticized just about everything he did. For a minute, I almost took this attack on him personal. Why? I am a brother who believes in supporting those people in life who have the balls to take on the challenge of pursuing their dream. In that support, I take offense at people who fight against and criticize those who are trying to do it, or better yet, those who are doing it.

Have you ever been around someone who started talking about “LaKeisha” and how she finally graduated from college and could get a real job, only to turn around and say, “Now all of a sudden LaKeisha is walking around thinking she’s better than everybody, but she’s still just a ‘hoe’ who’s trying to have all the guys in town”? Been around that type of conversation before? Or how about being around someone who is talking about how “John” doesn’t know how to dress, and he looks tacky because he’s sporting last season’s Prada and Gucci? Or are you the person making these statements? If so, I have one question for you: Are YOU a hater?

Some of you may be thinking, “Hate is such a harsh word.” Admittedly, it is. I have come to the conclusion that if someone is lending some venomous words, actions, or even thoughts to someone who is making things happen in their life, that is the make-up of a hater’s character. Why take away from someone what they have worked so hard to achieve? Do people choose this route as the easy way out of making themselves look better? Really, is this the way, tearing down those who are making strides in their life?

Let’s examine:

• Do you get a little bit upset when someone you know is on the up and up?
• Do you feel a hint of jealousy when someone makes it?
• When someone you know makes it, do you remind them of the “good ol’ days” when they use to do some out-of-pocket stuff?
• Do you try to ignore a person who is making it?

Now take these same questions and apply them to the people that surround you.

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, it’s time to do a “check-up from the neck up.” If you feel your surrounding company would have answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time for all of you to have a “check-up from the neck up” retreat.

If you have not noticed yet, “hating” on someone and what they are doing to improve their life takes a great deal of energy. It takes energy to say, “Oh, I can’t stand him. He thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips.” That takes energy. When you try your best to conjure up stories that would bring someone back to their past, even when you know they have not been down that way in a while, that takes energy. When you fight to try to ignore the accomplishments someone has made just to prove that you are not sharing in their accomplishments, that takes energy. 

May I offer a suggestion? Take that same energy and invest it in you. Are you worth it?  Think about it…that same energy focused on not liking another person can be used to invest in your education, health, next vacation, family, your significant other, family, or just you! Don’t fall victim to what everyone else is doing around you. So many people are trying to front, acting like everything is all under control, when in essence more than half the people on this earth are living a life of quiet desperation. 

I could give chapter upon chapter of people hating on me and my accomplishments. But as I explain in my upcoming book, 5 Things Your Guidance Counselor Didn’t Tell You, there is a chapter on people who are going to hate on you—no matter what! You could be worth 400 million dollars, like my boy Sean “Diddy” Combs, and people are still going to hate on you.

So with that being said, I want to leave you with a valuable lesson that I learned. Multi-millionaire T. Harv Eker says, “Bless those who are where you want to be.” In other words, instead of hating on people who have made it in their life, you offer encouragement and compliments to them. Why? Because when you set that precedence in your life, you open the door to getting where you want to be sooner. And even if they are hating on you, would you feel safe enough to say that you didn’t hate on anyone? So again I ask, are you a hater? If so, I hope some of these words shared will begin to transform that way of being. And if not, I look forward to blessing you as you bless me.