When my editor gave me this topic to write about for this month’s issue, I almost rejected it! In my life, I have spent many a day running from love and many a day refusing to ever fall in love. For a while I thought I was incapable of falling in love. I thought that this love thing and this falling in love with people thing were myths. I’ve dated my fair share of people, and I’ve been waiting for this big fairy tale or romance movie about love to happen to me. You know the story: Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. They have two kids, a dog, and a white picket fence. Then they live happily ever after.

But I began to look at the men in these stories. The women always seem so in love and so open to love, but what about the men? I began to take a good look at myself and this is what I came up with: Men are turtles!

I know that sounds crazy, but men are turtles. 

Turtles are reptiles whose protection comes from a shell. The shell is composed of hard, bone plates covered by scutes. The scutes are made of keratin, the primary substance in hair, nails and hooves of other animals. The pigment melanin, present in the scutes, may form intricate designs and brightly colored patterns in    some species.

Although the scutes form the familiar outer layer of the shell, it is the bony layer    underneath that actually provides the shape, support and protective qualities of  the turtle shell. The inner layer of bone is fused with the usual bony structures associated with all vertebrates, the vertebral column and ribs. The vertebrae are      particularly interesting for the modifications that have occurred. The vertebrae of the neck and tail are small, allowing for a high degree of flexibility, while the   vertebrae of the central portion of the vertebral column are enormously elongated and inflexible, fused with the bony layer of the shell, acting as a support for the     carapace.

I know you didn’t start reading this article to find out about turtles and their shells, but by understanding the make-up of a turtle’s shell, you can come to understand a man!

First and foremost, men have a protective shell. It began to grow and be nurtured and take root as you heard things like, “Men don’t cry,” “Men should be strong,” and “Men should not smile or dance or be happy.” It’s a weird world to grow up in. So as a young man you began to grow this shell. On the outside, just like the turtle, this shell is for protection—protection from being hurt, from being used, and from being accessible. This shell has been made from pride, from disappointment, and from the harsh realities of life.

But just like a turtle, underneath this protective layer lies a more flexible layer that is more accessible and things can get in. So beneath the outer protection is a soft layer. And beneath the shell of the turtle, there lies AN ACTUAL TURTLE! I know that when I first saw the body of a turtle from underneath the shell I was amazed. Its hard to imagine that underneath the shell is actually a fleshy, physical creature. But it’s true!
So as I write my conclusion, this article didn’t turn out the way I planned it, but it’s important for women and for men to be aware of this: Most men walk around with their shell on all day and all night, and the majority of the time we don’t even realize it!

And this is what men need to hear: It’s okay to have that shell! That shell will get you through life, and the shell does serve many purposes. BUT it’s also okay to take off the shell. It’s okay to fall in love with her and let her into your life. Wear the shell on your day-to-day journey, but when it comes time to spend quality time with her, take the shell off and leave it at the door. Without the shell on, you will be vulnerable, but at the same time you will be open to love, you will be accessible. And I think that’s what women want. Women want to know their man! And I stress the word “know” because people want to know the real you—not the you that you carry around all day, tough and thugged-out, but the you who’s hiding beneath the shell.